When you get hitched, you gain a life partner as well as another family. Although it may be quiet difficult to find balance in your new life and get along with your new family and relatives. I would say that respecting, loving and accepting each other is key to making the new family dynamic a success.
Now when almost all my friends are being married and whenever I come across them, everyone has some of the other complaints with their mothers-in-law. I just keep on thinking that why do they have some many complaints and why can’t they live happily with their MIL’s or why can’t they think of them as their own mother. This question is always in my mind and the answer which I think about is daughters-in-law take offense too easily.
We did some research to find out exactly what upsets Mothers-in-law the most. So, based on that research I just want to convey a special message to all married girls out there, that many a time you attempt to say things to your mother-in-law that burns her world down in the worst ways and prone to hurt her feelings deeply. Please try not to make these 7 mistakes that can hurt your MIL’s feeling-
1. Don’t Be Too Sensitive-
Just like your mother is concerned about your health and well-being, so is your MIL. So even If she says to you that don’t be too skinny or Why are you so lean, don’t take it personally and in an offensive way. Don’t take it as a comment and don’t think she is pointing a finger on your appearance. She is just concerned about your health, so please take it in a positive direction instead of being offensive about it.
2. Don’t be Too Argumentative on Small things-
Mother in law is older than you and far more experienced, so if she offers genuine advice on something or shares her opinion than don’t take things on your self-esteem and become too confrontational on such things. Even If you don’t like her opinion or want to do things your own way just be polite and make her feel good by appreciating her suggestion. This way she will feel good and more connected to you. She has a genuine desire to help, not to preach or judge you. Please learn to recognize the difference.
3. Thinking You are Not Treated Equally-
Never think that you are not treated equally. Our thoughts are our things, therefore if you tend to think in a negative direction you will find bad even in the good things. It is not always the case that you are not treated in the same way as other members of the family. Your MIL loves you equally like she loves her daughter. That’s the reason she scolds you, advises you and shares her opinions with you just like she does with her daughter. Try to change your perception and look at things from her point of view.
4. Fail To Understand Her-
I know its the most difficult thing, I can expect from a person i.e trying to put yourself in another person;s shoes. Just think once from her point of view, how she must be feeling by your bad and indifferent behavior. After all, she is a mother and she just needs love, respect, and assurance that she is an important part of this family. Be empathetic to what she’s going through.
5. Complaining To Husband-
Complaining to your husband about his mother puts him in a very difficult situation. Please don’t do this as it will make things worse. Why would a son hear negative about his own mother, just think it the other way would you have liked if the same thing would have happened to your mother. If you have issues with your MIL just go and talk to her and try to resolve your issues with her one on one. Instead, of dragging your husband in all these things.
6. Not Considering Her Like Your Own Mother-
In the ideal life, people think of their daughter-in-law as their daughter and mother-in-law as their own mother, but for some women, this is not the case. Girls think their mother in law can never be their mother however hard MIL’s try to be close to her and make a good bond with her. Girl’s don’t respect their MIL’s genuine feelings and instead think that I already have a Mother, why should I consider her as my mother. Girl, you are totally wrong, the maximum time you spend in life after your husband is with your MIL. Share a close and good bond with her. She has immense love to shower over you.
7. Criticizing your husband’s upbringing, childhood
Don’t criticize the way your mother-in-law has parented her son, this way you are indirectly insulting your husband. This is the worst thing.